The Website of Miah and Michelle Collins

As a precursor to this entry, I thought this is very interesting. I am studying for a certificate in Christian counseling right now, and this is one of the defense mechanisms that people can use to prevent awareness of anxiety arousing instincts. I believe that projection is a deep issue in our society here, and it is a main way of sort of continuing fear/ hatred of other races, and creating a paralysis towards action or change.

* Projection
People rid themselves of threatening desires or thoughts by attributing them to others.  They may blame their mistakes or shortcomings on an external source, or they may form a delusional system, in which they believe that enemies are disrupting their lives.

As I return to our place in the Vaal, I am faced again with the completely different culture we face up here as compared to the coastal regions where we just spent our holiday. And although I have a great church family here and people who are ready to accept us back into our community, there is still an attitude and mindset of people living here that I struggle to connect with having been raised in an extremely safe, white, community.

Here in Vereeniging, there is still so much fear of any other race besides your own. Now, my biggest culture shock when coming here was the way people can joke and stereotype each other in negative ways and how that is completely normal, even for Christians to do. I came from Austin, TX, where political correctness and respect for people who are different from you was the beginning of understanding and was just standard of interaction. So, for about 7 months, I battled in my mind whether or not I can point out to people that this form of humor deeply offends me. Now, I am not a Nazi when it comes to jokes, and I can appreciate some crude jokes every once in a while, but I always draw a line when the sarcasm and negative joking starts to infiltrate my way of thinking and my attitude in general. Coming to South Africa, I was faced constantly with people going to far in my perspective in joking about another race or culture.

For example: we have a coloured lady on staff with us at J-Life who works in the kitchen. She is loud and funny and can tell great stories. One white guy from our staff made a joke to her, saying, “ Watch out, Chevonne’s a coloured and she’s got a knife!”, which was a joke about how coloured people from the Cape are notorious for stabbings. Now everyone in the room laughed hysterically including Chevonne. In my perspective, that was a really rude joke and it put her in a horribly negative category that, even if it was meant in jest, subconsciously, I believe it affects her. (I still believe this even though God has brought me to a place of better understanding of the culture here)

My other examples are more personal, which is why I believe that this issue is so important to me. There were constant jokes in the staff members about Americans and of course these were 99% of the time negative stereotypes. At the time when we joined, I was the only American, and I was struggling to be away from my family, to start this new job in a new culture and to try and fit in and build relationships. But the constant bashing of American culture and politics and attitudes made me stay in a state of defense, which probably lasted for those 7 months before I confronted people about this.

So, for my first 8 months of living here, I was deeply offended about half the time, wondering if the people I worked with were truly serious about following God and being the bride of Christ. I know this sounds extreme, but feelings eventually create a stigma in your brain, and when this stigma is constantly associated with a person or group of people it becomes easy to judge things as sin, when it might just be misunderstandings. But finally, after much discussion with Miah and much heartache of having to confront something that to everyone else was not a problem, I spoke to our boss about this type of humor. I brought in scripture and my own stories of offense, and my boss understood.

He did defend the humor, as most South Africans do because they see nothing wrong with it if it is in a friendship relationship. But what I have realized after studying this issue for the last two years is that political correctness is not always the key to creating a relationship of respect among different races and cultures. Here in Jo-burg, people are constantly confronted everyday with other value systems and other ways of doing things. This is not an easy psychological feat and it can take a toll on someone very easily. So, I have realized that humor is a coping mechanism for people here. Instead of getting angry or offended, they can bring the issue up in a joke and everyone can have a good laugh at it.

However, I still believe that as Christians, we should be setting a different example. We should be set apart, striving for holiness and to look more like Christ. We should be encouraging and building each other up constantly. We should take the negative aspects of someone’s background and give them the support to bring change to that background. So, I still don’t participate in these jokes as much as possible, and I try to speak positive things into people’s lives in order to break stereotypes and strongholds. But I have more grace and more freedom to accept people who make these jokes and I am not as deeply offended by them as I used to be. God has given me understanding.

I honestly don’t know what the future holds for South Africa in terms of the integration of all races here. I do know, however, that my job as a follower of Christ is to show people on earth a little bit of what heaven will be like. And I know that every tribe, tongue, and nation will be there, and we will be together, and we will love each other deeply and enjoy our Father together. So as much as I can bring peace and understanding in my lifetime between races, I will strive to do so, not for the cause in itself, but as a taste of what is to come….