Sunday, April 19, 2009
So the other day, Miah and I were looking for a place in our new town to rent movies. We came into one of the bigger chain movie rental places and we started looking at their rentals. As we were looking, I couldn’t help but overhear a really loud conversation the ladies at the counter were having. It started with something like, “ I heard that in America”.... blah, bloo, blee, and ended with something like, “ wow! I’m so glad I didn’t live in America then!”. I won’t go into the details of the ignorance of the topic, but you can guess it was one of those really amazing comparison gossipy chats that so many people love to have here. Now, part of me knows that I shouldn’t by now let these things bother me but hang with me and you will see how this actually is important.
That night we went to a braii (BBQ 
) and hung out with a lot of people we know from church. We were watching the rugby game and of course the lovely dancing ladies came onto the screen. I was sitting with two single ladies from our church and immediately the scoffing began. Now I can be a little offended at how women can be so objectified for entertainment value, but at the same time it is hard for me judge. But because the scoffing did not stop, literally it got out of hand with how ugly they were or how pathetic it was, etc. that eventually I just said, “ hey, watch what you say because I used to be a cheerleader”. And the conversation moved on to more productive topics.
This morning, we went grocery shopping. As we left I saw some muslim ladies with their head coverings on which covered everything except their eyes. And as they passed, I heard a man with a know it all attitude say, “ you know why I heard they wear those things.....” blah, bloo, blee, and I just stopped myself from listening and prayed that God would prevent me from overhearing these sort of things because it never produces a godly reaction in me.
But why is so easy to speak so negatively about someone else? Why is it that so many times when women get together, and whether or not they are Christian doesn’t really change this, they love to either gossip about something meaningless or just speak negatively about disciplining children or what not? Why is there this connection with each other over the negative?
Miah tried to appease my anger that night with the women at the video store basically saying that people in a developping country need to say bad things about other countries so that they don’t feel undermined by living in a developping country. Now I can see how the root of this, comparison or jealousy, can play a big factor in our tendencies to criticize or demean others. There is definitely truth in that and those are elements to this negativity that we definitely need to deal with.
But I also am seeing a spiritual significance in these tendencies because it is this negative thinking that plagues all of humanity and something that can control our lifestyles and identities if we are not quick to recognize it and deal with it ( James 3: 6) . It is this bandwagon of gossip that leads the church to blend into the background of our societies and that births the mediocrity and apathy that we live in. Because standing against those conversations or actually calling them what they are is just, well, flat out awkward. And by living out this contrast to our natural tendency to compare and slander, we become powerful images of God’s kingdom brought to this earth.
It is not easy to think well of every other human being that you encounter and to see them with the eyes that God sees them in. Especially when you live in a country that is inhabited by so many cultures and ways of life that are so different from each other. There is a constant confrontation of values in South Africa. It is uncomfortable, unnatural, and unnerving to take the road of humility and consider others better than yourself. Yet that is the perspective that every message and interaction of Jesus Christ in the Gospels beseeches us to have. WE MUST STAND OUT. As I say this, I reminded of the words of Christ, “NOT SO WITH YOU”, as He tells His disciples to serve one another and in doing so contrast the hierarchical kingdoms of this world and create on earth a DIFFERENT kingdom.
So, in response to this, I sat with Miah and we talked about how just recognizing this as an issue in the church is not enough. But we need to change our own lifestyles and ways of thinking. We need to call each other out when we are speaking negatively about another culture or person and we need to stop speaking. We need to control our tongues when we want to attack someone by using sarcasm ( which I believe is one of the sneakiest ways of addressing something without actually confronting it) and we need to immediately change our thoughts ( James 1:26). We can speak scripture into our minds when we are annoyed by someone or hurt by their actions so that our reactions will begin with grace and humility and not revenge.
Here are a few verses in scripture that help me with this (of which I have to constantly remind myself):
Colossians 4: 5-6- Conduct yourselves with wisdom toward outsiders, making the most of every opportunity. Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned as it were with salt, so that you may know how you should respond to each person.
Philippians 2: 14-`5- Do all things without grumbling or disputing; that you mat prove yourselves to be blameless and innocent, children of God above reproach in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you shine as luminaries in the world.
Ephesians 4: 29- Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, that it may give grace to those who hear.
Posted by michelle at 09:47 PM. Filed under:
(0) Comments